To Drink or Not to Drink on a First Date? If So, How Much Is Too Much?

A friend of mine went out on a first date with a girl he met on eHarmony.com recently. He was looking for some advice on how to act on the date, where to go and what to do. He lives real close to an upscale lounge that everyone in town goes on a date. It’s the type of place where you can get a nice meal, have a few drinks, relax, and listen to some music. Perfect first date spot, if you ask me.


The only problem with taking a woman to a place such as this is alcohol will most certainly be involved. I’m not saying drinking alcohol on a first date is a bad thing. But sometimes we aren’t sure how much is too much or if she’s a drinker. In this case, my friend was sure she was at least a social drinker because she mentioned to him that she frequented that bar. It’s safe to assume a woman that frequents a bar is a drinker. But he still didn’t know how much she drank. For all he knew, she could have been an alcoholic. Or she could have been a social drinker.

 Perfect first date spot

Perfect first date spot

Before choosing a date location, ask her if she’s a drinker

Simply ask her if she drinks. Her response will be more than just yes or no. She’ll either say she drinks, but only socially or she will go on about how she can’t get enough of alcohol. If she says she doesn’t drink at all, you should completely avoid bars. You should NEVER drink when you’re on a date with a woman that doesn’t drink.

Now that you know if she’s a drinker, decide how much to drink

I’m not going to advise you to not get sloppy drunk. Although, I do think it’s silly to get totally sloshed on a first date. But if you’re certain she’s a heavy drinker, she might actually be impressed by your ability to chug beers, down a few shots, and party the night away. If she’s a party girl, you’ll probably bore her to death if you’re just nursing your drink all night.

With women that are only social drinkers, just have 2-3 beers throughout the night and maybe do a shot together. Spend more time chatting than drinking. Women that aren’t big party animals are completely turned off by men that are drunks. Getting wasted would not make a good first impression. Use your best judgment. My suggestion of 2-3 drinks and a shot is poor advice for those of you that are lightweights. If you can’t hold your liquor, be smart enough to stop drinking before you become intoxicated.

She’s a drinker

She’s a drinker

What if I’m not a drinker but she is?

This can be a big problem. If you’re not a drinker, you shouldn’t be dating a party girl. She’ll never be into you. She’ll think you’re boring. However, you can date a social drinker. However, she too may be unimpressed or turned off by the fact that you’re not drinking while she is. So here’s what I would suggest in this situation. Don’t go anywhere with her where alcohol will be served on the first couple of dates. Take her out for a hike, walk in the park, to a bowling alley, etc. Stay away from bars so you’re not faced with this awkward situation.

I’m not a drinker but she is drinker

I’m not a drinker but she is drinker

CSI Dating: How to Tell if She’s a Complete Nut Job

Nothing sucks more than meeting a woman, falling for her, and then finding out she’s a total nut job. Some women are total psychos but hide it well early on in a relationship. I’ve gotten pretty good at spotting a psycho before ever going out on a date with her. I always asking probing questions to find out about her past. If I haven’t figured out she’s a psycho before a first date, I always figure it out before the end of the date.

Online Signs She’s a Nut Job

It’s better if you can spot she’s a nut job before ever meeting her. This will prevent potential problems such as her getting attached and finding out where you live. Online signs come in the form of the things she says via Instant Message and email or from her profile…

Online Signs

Online Signs

  • Her profile is flooded with nasty comments about crazy ex-boyfriends or about how poorly men treat her. Some women are just plain STUPID. They get treated like garbage by men because they date men that treat women like dirt. And then they think it’s all the fault of men and not her for not being intelligent enough to avoid dating jackasses.
  • She mentions she’s a methadone clinic patient. She’ll claim she’s over her heroin addiction. Yeah, right. If she’s a patient at a methadone clinic, don’t even respond to her email/IM. Move on to the next chick.
  • She claims she likes nice guys but has a history of dating a-holes. If you’re a nice guy and the girl you’re chatting with online has a history of dating a-holes, but claims she really just wants a nice guy, she’s lying. She may not know she’s lying, but she is. Women that always date a-holes aren’t mature enough to grow up and start dating a real man. They just can’t do it. They might test you out for a while but she’ll get bored of you and leave you for another jerk.

     Dating a-holes

    Dating a-holes

  • She’s average looking and lists a ton of specific physical traits her man must have. These women are insecure. They know they’re not that good looking and need to be with a man that is super hot so they can feel better about themselves. She’ll never find a long-term relationship because she’s too picky. She’s used to drunk, hot guys hooking up with her and so she thinks these hot guys would actually date her. She’s dumb and insecure. Stay the hell away!

First Date Signs She’s a Nut Job

Okay, so you didn’t pick up on her signs online. No big deal. Just make sure you spot them on a first date so you don’t get too involved with her. There’s nothing worse than falling for a girl, only to find out she’s psychotic. If you spot ANY of these signs on a first date, never call her again…

First Date Signs

First Date Signs

  • She left out important information about herself online. She conveniently forgot to tell you about her 3 kids, drug addiction, or the fact that she’s a chain smoker. She doesn’t have to tell you her life story online. That’s best saved for when you’re out on a date. But there are certain things about her past she should share with you before going out on a date. It’s only fair.
  • She starts asking WAY too personal questions. She wants to know your home address, parents’ names, and the church you belong to. She wants to know way too much about you because she has major trust issues.

Top 5 Lines That Will Make Her Blush On a First Date

First impressions count for everything in the dating world. If you don’t impress her right away, you’ll never get a second chance. Women will write off a man instantly if he doesn’t impress her from the start. After that, there’s no turning back. Now, just because you impress her right away, that doesn’t mean she’s going to end up marrying you. But it will certainly help your chances of getting far with her.


The things you say on a first date are very important. I always make sure I bust out some smooth lines. I am usually able to make a woman blush a few times on a first date. When I make her blush, I know she’s impressed and likes me. I don’t script what I’m going to talk about on a first date because I try to make the conversation flow naturally. However, I always try to incorporate these 5 lines into every first date

“Your eyes really compliment your smile”

Women love compliments. The things they most love being complimented on are their eyes, smile, and clothing. Complimenting the size of their rack or hot booty isn’t what they want to hear. It’s easy to make a woman blush when you compliment her eyes. They absolutely love it and it seems more genuine and less perverted than if you complimented her breasts.

Women love compliments

Women love compliments

“I can tell you like me”

This is somewhat of an arrogant statement. But that’s okay. If she really does like you, this will make her blush out of embarrassment. You can be certain she’s into you if she blushes and then smiles after you say this. It’s a dead giveaway and one of the easiest ways to find out if she’s digging you.

“You’re a really sweet girl”

This is another type of compliment women like to hear. And this is a very genuine type of comment. Women like to be seen as “sweet” and innocent even if they really aren’t. Sweet is a term with a broad description. It can mean you think she’s pretty, nice, and/or genuine.

You’re a really sweet girl

You’re a really sweet girl

“I feel really good around you”

This is almost guaranteed to make her blush…every time. Women want to feel special to a man. A comment like this makes her feel very special. Sure, she knows you probably say this to every girl, but that doesn’t matter to her. What matters is you made her feel special by saying it to her. It’s also a great comment to smoothly transition into a discussion about sex. Works every time!>

“You’re the prettiest girl I’ve been on a date with today!”

A comment such as this is humorous and can also make her blush. Just make sure you say it with a smile so she knows you’re only kidding. Well, only kidding about the “date with today” part.

You’re the prettiest girl

You’re the prettiest girl

Instant Confident: Mental Exercises that Help You Develop Confidence FAST

I’m going to start this post with some bad news for some of you. If you lack confidence, you won’t get a girl. It really is that simple. With that out of the way, here’s some good news for you. You can EASILY develop at least some confidence…FAST. And I’m going to teach you how. But before I do that, I want you to commit to following these mental exercises. Some will read this and think they seem silly and won’t work.


They might seem silly, but they DO work. I know they work because these are the same mental exercises I have used to help build up my confidence level. I guarantee if you implement these mental exercises into your daily routine, you’ll become a confident man in no time. You’ll immediately see an increase in the amount of women that give you attention. An average looking, confident man is more attractive to a woman than a good looking man that lacks confidence. So get that confidence built up NOW and start attracting more women. All you have to do is follow these mental exercises…

Confident man is more attractive to a woman

Confident man is more attractive to a woman

I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!”

Remember that old Saturday Night Live skit with Stuart Smalley where he looked in the mirror and proclaimed he was good enough, smart enough, and people liked him? You don’t have to use the exact quote above, but it really does help if you constantly look yourself in the mirror, smile, and say something nice about yourself. You’d be amazed how much better you’ll start feeling about yourself. It seems cheesy to think looking in the mirror and telling yourself how awesome you are will improve your confidence. But it really does work. We are the only ones that can convince ourselves how amazing we are.

 Mental Exercises

Mental Exercises

2 beers and a Jager bomb

Before I go out on a date, I always try to relax myself. I don’t want to be shy on a date because it shows a lack of confidence. So if I’m feeling a bit down or not confident, I have 2 light beers and 1 Jager bomb before meeting up with her. I drink just enough to relax myself but not too much to get drunk. Showing up wasted would be an even bigger turnoff than lacking confidence. If you’re not a drinker, you can feel free to skip this step. But it’s very true that people with a bit of alcohol in their system act more confident.

Instant Confident

Instant Confident

Start working out

The most confident people are those that regularly exercise. Your body will look better, which leads to you feeling better about yourself. You don’t have to turn into some muscle-bound jock. Do simple exercise routines such as going out for a job, occasionally lifting weights, and doing sit-ups. Everyone is capable of some exercise. You don’t have to push yourself to extreme limits. Start out slow and build up your endurance and tolerance. You’ll build up your confidence in the process. Also, start eating healthier foods. Fast-food and junk food make us feel crummy. Eating a healthier diet will have you feeling better, which leads to being more confident.

Why No One Likes Shy Guys: A Profile Deconstruction

Let’s say you meet a pretty lady online. Take her out to dinner and drinks after that. You show up, introduce yourself, smile at her and then follow the Hostess to your table where you sit down and begin chatting. As soon as you sit down, you begin scrambling for conversation fodder. Naturally, the first thing that pops into your head is the ever so popular comment about the weather. It’s every shy guy’s go-to comment when they don’t know what else to say. It’s also usually the beginning of the end for them.


Women do NOT like shy guys. They just don’t. What are the 2 most desired traits in men? Confidence and a sense of humor. Being shy shows a lack of confidence. And it’s hard to display much of a sense of humor if you’re shy. Basically, you’re screwed if you’re shy.

 Women do not like shy guys

Women do not like shy guys

How Women Perceive a Shy Guy

A woman sees a shy guy as a man with no confidence and a man that is boring. Men are supposed to be the gender that’s aggressive. Shy guys are too reserved to step up and take initiative. It’s your job, as a man, to control where the conversation is going and make plans. Women look for you to do these things. Women like to be directed.

Shy guys are also assumed to be very boring. Women look for a man that is fun. If she knows you’re shy, she’ll assume you just like to sit home and play video games all day or work a lame job. She’ll also assume you’re going to be easy to push around. Women are not attracted to pushovers. Shy guys are too nice and too indecisive. It’s not that women don’t like nice guys, but they don’t like guys that are TOO nice. Sometimes a woman needs to be kept in check. She wants you to do that. Shy guys are too afraid to step up and keep a woman in line (not physically, of course).

Make a good first impression.

Make a good first impression.

Never tell a woman you’re shy at first but open up after getting to know someone

I have some bad news for those of you that are shy at first but then will open up after getting to know someone. First impressions are EVERYTHING. If you’re shy on a first date, you won’t get a second date to prove to her that you’ll eventually open up. Women base 100% of their opinion of you on how you act on a first date. I’ve seen far too many profiles of men that claim they’re only shy at first. And that’s probably true. The problem is they won’t get a second date to prove it. Make a good first impression.

Step up and be a man

Do whatever it takes to put on a good show on a first date. If that means you need to down a couple of beers beforehand to relax yourself, go for it. Just don’t show up drunk. Plain and simple – you need to man-up and impress the heck out of her right away. Open doors for her, smile, look her in the eyes, and don’t be afraid to show off your sense of humor. It might help you to come up with a bit of conversation fodder before the date. Know what you want to talk about before she arrives, that way you’ll always have a topic in the back of your mind ready for when the conversation is running dry.

Look her in the eyes

Look her in the eyes