To Drink or Not to Drink on a First Date? If So, How Much Is Too Much?

A friend of mine went out on a first date with a girl he met on eHarmony.com recently. He was looking for some advice on how to act on the date, where to go and what to do. He lives real close to an upscale lounge that everyone in town goes on a date. It’s the type of place where you can get a nice meal, have a few drinks, relax, and listen to some music. Perfect first date spot, if you ask me.


The only problem with taking a woman to a place such as this is alcohol will most certainly be involved. I’m not saying drinking alcohol on a first date is a bad thing. But sometimes we aren’t sure how much is too much or if she’s a drinker. In this case, my friend was sure she was at least a social drinker because she mentioned to him that she frequented that bar. It’s safe to assume a woman that frequents a bar is a drinker. But he still didn’t know how much she drank. For all he knew, she could have been an alcoholic. Or she could have been a social drinker.

 Perfect first date spot

Perfect first date spot

Before choosing a date location, ask her if she’s a drinker

Simply ask her if she drinks. Her response will be more than just yes or no. She’ll either say she drinks, but only socially or she will go on about how she can’t get enough of alcohol. If she says she doesn’t drink at all, you should completely avoid bars. You should NEVER drink when you’re on a date with a woman that doesn’t drink.

Now that you know if she’s a drinker, decide how much to drink

I’m not going to advise you to not get sloppy drunk. Although, I do think it’s silly to get totally sloshed on a first date. But if you’re certain she’s a heavy drinker, she might actually be impressed by your ability to chug beers, down a few shots, and party the night away. If she’s a party girl, you’ll probably bore her to death if you’re just nursing your drink all night.

With women that are only social drinkers, just have 2-3 beers throughout the night and maybe do a shot together. Spend more time chatting than drinking. Women that aren’t big party animals are completely turned off by men that are drunks. Getting wasted would not make a good first impression. Use your best judgment. My suggestion of 2-3 drinks and a shot is poor advice for those of you that are lightweights. If you can’t hold your liquor, be smart enough to stop drinking before you become intoxicated.

She’s a drinker

She’s a drinker

What if I’m not a drinker but she is?

This can be a big problem. If you’re not a drinker, you shouldn’t be dating a party girl. She’ll never be into you. She’ll think you’re boring. However, you can date a social drinker. However, she too may be unimpressed or turned off by the fact that you’re not drinking while she is. So here’s what I would suggest in this situation. Don’t go anywhere with her where alcohol will be served on the first couple of dates. Take her out for a hike, walk in the park, to a bowling alley, etc. Stay away from bars so you’re not faced with this awkward situation.

I’m not a drinker but she is drinker

I’m not a drinker but she is drinker