The most common question we receive from men is how to write a good online dating first email. Only a small percentage of emails that are sent by men are ever opened by women. An even smaller percentage of emails are actually responded to. Why do women only respond to a small percentage of emails? Because most of the emails are horribly written or the guy sending it has a lousy profile.
Women love purple cows…or something like that
Go visit a dairy farm. Take a look at all of the cows in the field. Stare at them for a while. They all look alike, don’t they? What if, out of that crowd of cows, one of them was bright purple? After you left the field, that bright purple cow would be the one cow that stuck out in your mind. Let’s say you were asked to select one of the cows in the field to pet. Chances are you would select the purple cow simply because it’s the only one that stood out.
Now let’s take a look at how this relates to online dating. Any decent woman online has an email box that looks a little something like this…
She’ll have 50 messages from men on the same site you’re signed up for. Most of the subject lines will read something like “26/m Boston” or “hey there sexy”. Sure, she’ll probably open a few of those, but after a while, they all start sounding the same. She’ll get bored of reading the same nonsense over and over again. She’ll be looking for her purple cow – that one email that stands out like a sore thumb. That one email that makes her laugh and smile. That one email that makes her say “I’ve got to get to know this guy”. You need to be her purple cow. You need to create an email that accomplishes the 3 golden rules of an online dating first email…
- INTRIGUE – Gets her interested in you
- HUMOR – Makes her more attracted to you
- ACTION – Convinces her to respond to your message
Online Dating Tips First Email BAD Examples
Before we show you some successful first online dating message examples, you should see what a poor email looks like. The following two emails will NEVER get responded to. Well, she might respond to the message simply to let you know you’re a loser. But if you want her to respond positively to your first email, you may want to avoid sending either of these messages…
“sup girl? You lookin’ fly as hell. How bout you give me your digits and we can go hookup tomorrow night?”
“Hi there, my name is Chris. I’m 31 years old and live on the west side of town. I like to play football and baseball. I also like to go camping with my family. It’s an annual tradition. We totally have a blast. Other than that, I’m into playing PS3 games such as World of Warcraft. Let’s see here – I absolutely love anime and some horror flicks such as The Shining. That’s one of my favorite movies. As for music, I usually listen to heavy metal and alternative rock. I don’t really care much for newer music. I’m more into Pantera and Metallica than the newer bands. I’m a really nice guy and know how to treat a girl. I am College educated (English degree) and work as an accountant for a trucking company. I know, it’s weird that I majored in English but work as an accountant. It’s hard to find a decent job out of College in writing! Well, I hope to hear back from you! Toodles!”
Why those emails suck: The first email is too short and too immature. This guy clearly comes off as someone just looking for sex. There’s no substance with that email. The second one is just plain boring and lacks creativity. Don’t ramble on about your interests in an email. It will put her to sleep. To be honest, this guy could have ended the email by insulting her mother. She never would have made it to the end of the email before clicking off of it.
Online Dating Tips First Email GOOD Examples
Okay, enough of the horrendous emails. Let’s get into some examples of emails that work. How do we know the emails below are successful? Because we’ve used them numerous times and received great response to them. First things first – here are 3 subject lines that will catch her attention right away. They aren’t overly creative, but they are effective because they’re different…
- “DO NOT READ THIS!!”
- “DID YOU KNOW?”
- “I KNOW YOUR SECRET…MUAHAHA!”
And now 3 first dating email messages that will guarantee she reads the entire email (catchy introduction, quality content) and is inclined to respond to it…
“You weren’t supposed to open this message! I see you can’t follow directions. That’s okay, I’ll let it slide this time. In fact, I’m glad you disobeyed my order because I’d like to get to know you. Your profile really did catch my eye and it wasn’t only because of that pretty smile of yours. I think we have a lot in common. You’re clearly into sports and staying active, which are some of the most important qualities I look for in a woman. I’d like to get to know you. What do you say we chat via IM soon? When works best for you?”
“I won’t lie – what got me initially interested in you was your profile picture. But then I started to read your profile. I saw that you love baseball, rock n’ roll music, and comedies. And it ALMOST made me forget about how pretty your smile was. We’re both baseball fans, rock n’ roll is my favorite kind of music, and I’m a sucker for a stupid comedy. Will you marry me!? But seriously, I’m interested in chatting with you. If you’re anything like your profile claims to be, we’re a definite match. You. Me. Instant Message chat. Tonight?”
“Okay, I don’t really know your secret. I just wanted to create a headline that stood out from the other guys. You see, that’s who I am – Mr. Creativity! I try to be unique. Someone that’s not like all the rest. I know you’ve gone through a gazillion email messages. They probably all seem the same, don’t they? The guys all start to look the same, am I right? I tell you what – if you respond back to this email with a time for me to contact you on IM, I’ll show you a guy that’s NOTHING like the other guys on this site. Deal?”