Let’s say you meet a pretty lady online. Take her out to dinner and drinks after that. You show up, introduce yourself, smile at her and then follow the Hostess to your table where you sit down and begin chatting. As soon as you sit down, you begin scrambling for conversation fodder. Naturally, the first thing that pops into your head is the ever so popular comment about the weather. It’s every shy guy’s go-to comment when they don’t know what else to say. It’s also usually the beginning of the end for them.
Women do NOT like shy guys. They just don’t. What are the 2 most desired traits in men? Confidence and a sense of humor. Being shy shows a lack of confidence. And it’s hard to display much of a sense of humor if you’re shy. Basically, you’re screwed if you’re shy.
How Women Perceive a Shy Guy
A woman sees a shy guy as a man with no confidence and a man that is boring. Men are supposed to be the gender that’s aggressive. Shy guys are too reserved to step up and take initiative. It’s your job, as a man, to control where the conversation is going and make plans. Women look for you to do these things. Women like to be directed.
Shy guys are also assumed to be very boring. Women look for a man that is fun. If she knows you’re shy, she’ll assume you just like to sit home and play video games all day or work a lame job. She’ll also assume you’re going to be easy to push around. Women are not attracted to pushovers. Shy guys are too nice and too indecisive. It’s not that women don’t like nice guys, but they don’t like guys that are TOO nice. Sometimes a woman needs to be kept in check. She wants you to do that. Shy guys are too afraid to step up and keep a woman in line (not physically, of course).
Never tell a woman you’re shy at first but open up after getting to know someone
I have some bad news for those of you that are shy at first but then will open up after getting to know someone. First impressions are EVERYTHING. If you’re shy on a first date, you won’t get a second date to prove to her that you’ll eventually open up. Women base 100% of their opinion of you on how you act on a first date. I’ve seen far too many profiles of men that claim they’re only shy at first. And that’s probably true. The problem is they won’t get a second date to prove it. Make a good first impression.
Step up and be a man
Do whatever it takes to put on a good show on a first date. If that means you need to down a couple of beers beforehand to relax yourself, go for it. Just don’t show up drunk. Plain and simple – you need to man-up and impress the heck out of her right away. Open doors for her, smile, look her in the eyes, and don’t be afraid to show off your sense of humor. It might help you to come up with a bit of conversation fodder before the date. Know what you want to talk about before she arrives, that way you’ll always have a topic in the back of your mind ready for when the conversation is running dry.